Daily Humor

A little humor to brighten your day via Spiked Humor.

Bush’s Pigs

The President is getting off the helicopter in front of the White House. He has a baby pig under each arm. The Marine guard snaps to attention, salutes, and says, “Nice pigs, sir.”

The President replies, “These aren’t pigs, these are genuine Texan Razorback Hogs. I got one for the Vice President, and one for Defense Secretary Rumsfeld.

The Marine again snaps to attention, salutes, and replies, “Good trade, sir.”

Bush and the Lightbulb

How many Bush administration officials does it take to change a light bulb?

The answer is seven…

One to deny that a light bulb needs to be replaced.

One to attack and question the patriotism of anyone who has questions about the changing of the light bulb.

One to blame the previous administration for the need of a new light bulb.

One to arrange the invasion of a country rumored to have a secret stockpile of light bulbs.

One to get together with Vice President Cheney and figure out how to pay Halliburton one million dollars for a light bulb.

One to arrange a photo-op session showing Bush changing the light bulb while dressed in a flight suit and wrapped in an American flag.

And finally, one to explain to Bush the difference between screwing a light bulb and screwing the country.

Making People Happy

Dubya, Laura and Big Dick are flying back to Washington on Air Force One. Laura and Dick are lost in their own thoughts, while George is looking out the window at the landscape passing by below. He absently remarks to the other two: “Ya know, I could throw ten thousand dollar bills out of this plane and make ten people down there purty happy.”

Laura replies, “Well, George, I guess thats true…and I could throw a hundred hundred dollar bills out and make a hundred people down there pretty happy.”

To which Dick adds, “Yes, and I could throw a thousand ten dollar bills out and make a thousand people down there happy.”

The pilot, whos overheard all this, turns to his co-pilot. “Bigshots, huh?” he chuckles, “I could throw all three of ’em out of this plane right now and make billions of people happy!”

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2 Responses to Daily Humor

  1. Javelin says:

    Thanks Donnie!
    Can’t wait to share those at work next week!

  2. Your welcome Javelin. I had a good laugh with them myself.