Retch Ed

or, Custer Used To Be a Hero, Too


The Pentagon honored George W. Bush today, putting him one step closer to being able to display a chestful of medallions at embassy dinners — and we all know how much Georgie likes to play dress-up, Cowboy hats, cowboy boots, flight suits, Commander in Chief leather jackets, you know. If you’re eating or drinking as you read this, it’s probably a good idea to stop:

Bush thanks military for undertaking ‘just’ work By DARLENE SUPERVILLE, Associated Press Writer Darlene Superville, Associated Press Writer – Tue Jan 6, 2:06 pm ET … Bush received several honors, including the Department of Defense Distinguished Public Service Medal, and the Distinguished Civilian Service Medal from the five military branches. First lady Laura Bush, who accompanied him to the ceremony, also was honored for outstanding public service for her work as an advocate for democratic societies around the world and the rights of Afghan women.

Just work for just us, it fails to note: Bling for the Thief.

Eagle-eyed reader Bill E. sent in this item, along with its viral tag, received from a “True Believer“:

Forgive me Hart, but I just had to share this with you. Please take your time in reading it. I think I will now go over to my bathroom and puke.

The past couple years I have received my share of “bash Bush” messages. President Bush has had extremely, complex challenges the past eight years. It has been my contention that we accept and honor our presidents as our national leader, not “bash” them for implementation of laws, budgets created by Congressional members, treaties and other agreements made by previous presidents, etc.

Jan 4, 2:12 AM EST
Analysis: Bush’s personality shapes his legacy
By BEN FELLER Associated Press Writer

WASHINGTON (AP) — President George W. Bush will be judged on what he did. He will also be remembered for what he’s like: a fast-moving, phrase-mangling Texan who stays upbeat even though his country is not.

For eight years, the nation has been led by a guy who relaxes by clearing brush in scorching heat and taking breakneck bike rides through the woods. He dishes out nicknames to world leaders, and even gave the German chancellor an impromptu, perhaps unwelcome, neck rub. He’s annoyed when kept waiting and sticks relentlessly to routine. He stays optimistic in even the most dire circumstances, but readily tears up in public. He has little use for looking within himself, and only lately has done much looking back.

Bush’s style and temperament are as much his legacy as his decisions. Policy shapes lives, but personality creates indelible memories – positive and negative.

Call it distinctly Bush.

Don’t be late.

Bush demands punctuality and disdains inefficiency. Every meeting better have a clear purpose. And it better not repeat what he already knows.

He is up early and in the Oval Office by 6:45 a.m. By 9:30 to 10 at night, it’s lights out. He likes to be fresh and won’t get cheated on his sleep.

In sessions with policy experts, Bush tends to ask questions that get right to the nub of a sticky issue. His top aides speak regretfully about how the country never got to see that side of him, even after all this time. They describe a man who is deeply inquisitive, not blithely incurious as much of the world thinks.

When Bush wants answers, guessing isn’t advised.

“He can sniff it out a mile away if you don’t have the goods,” said White House communications director Kevin Sullivan.

Other people write Bush’s speeches, but he’ll kick out phrases that he thinks stray from a logical progression. It’s about discipline.

You can tell the issues that really get Bush going, because he talks about them differently, more passionately: education, AIDS relief, freedom. They happen to be ones that can be viewed more clearly through a moral lens. That’s how he sees the world.

Bush reads the Bible regularly. Another devotion: exercise. He makes time for a workout at least six days a week, wherever he is. And he goes at it hard, especially on his mountain bike on the weekends, when he pushes Secret Service agents to keep up with him. He is competitive and likes to stay in command.

Even eating is approached with sheer purpose.

Bush wants his lunch ready when he is, and wolfs it down. His tastes are clear: maybe a peanut butter and honey sandwich, a BLT, or a burger. Former White House executive chef Walter Scheib learned from Bush never to serve a grilled cheese sandwich unless it came with a side of French’s yellow mustard.

The man from a land of cowboy boots orders proper dress in the White House. No jeans allowed in the West Wing. Coat and tie in the Oval Office…. (ad nauseum)

But Ben is a Bushian sort of Feller, of course. Here’s the first thing I dredged up with a casual Google search:

Bush Blames Cuts at Energy Lab on Mix-Up Monday, 20 Feb 2006 By BEN FELLER, Associated Press Writer GOLDEN, Colo. – President Bush on Tuesday acknowledged that Washington has sent “mixed signals” to one of the nation’s premiere labs studying renewable energies — by first laying off, then reinstating, 32 workers just before his visit.

The president blamed the conflicting message on an appropriations mix-up in funding the Energy Department’s National Renewable Energy Laboratory, which is developing the very renewable energy technologies the president is promoting….

Feller has long been convinced that the fusion reaction of our day-star, Sol, can best be viewed from the immediate vicinity of George W. Bush’s sacral dimples (alleged).

Nothing much in that, except that this Dubyian Reconstruction is burning up the viral Evil-Grannysphere™, convincing the mentally enfeebled, the twenty-three percenters, that it was, oh, a glorious success, and everything was just, as they always had blind faith, hunky-dory.


Here’s another typical Feller story (via Liberty Street)

Bush Aide: ‘We Have Not Failed in Iraq’,” by AP writer Ben Feller, quotes Stephen Hadley, Bush’s national security adviser:

While President Bush acknowledges the need for major changes in Iraq, he will not use this week’s Iraq Study Group report as political cover for bringing troops home, his national security adviser said Sunday.

“We have not failed in Iraq,”Stephen Hadley said as he made the talk show rounds. “We will fail in Iraq if we pull out our troops before we’re in a position to help the Iraqis succeed.”

But he added: “The president understands that we need to have a way forward in Iraq that is more successful.”

Just remember: HE even eats his peanut butter sandwiches with a sense of resolve and resolute purpose. But, note the storm clouds on the horizon. The “rehabilitation” of Bush has started, and there’s serious money in it for the writer who can kiss the most Bushian ass.

This gang paid good money to journalists to lie before the election and while in office. Open bribery of ‘journalists’ has been a hallmark of the Shrub-Rovian Endless Campaign.

It is not my intention to do a whole investigation on Feller. It’s easy enough if you’re interested. My point is that it is entirely unsurprising, considering the source, and given the talking points fed to the source.


Rove has decided that he likes being a media hero, and if we all REMEMBER what he actually did, well, that can’t be good. Remember, they STARTED this maladministration by classifying Bush I’s papers and Reagan’s. That bespeaks volumes.

They did this, quietly, with Reagan.

After a cascading clusterf** of an administration, somehow the sun shines out of Saint Ronald of Ray-Gun’s derriere –“Star Wars” Remember? (You know the one that still doesn’t work?) S&L meltdown, mini-wars in Grenada and Lebanon (Reagan cut and ran from Lebanon after a truck bomb, remember? — Saint Ronnie was exhumed and polished to a brilliantine [sic] sheen. They called him the Teflon® president — because nothing ever stuck.


But they churned out the PR, through Reagan and then into the First Bush, and, at some point — right around the Panama Christmas Invasion of ’89 under Bush the Smarter — military propaganda and psychological warfare operations merged with the slick Madison Avenue (Nixon, by way of Roger Ailes, who packaged the “New” Nixon and the “Nixon’s the One” rebranding in 1968) public relations, and the Hollywood movie tricks (Reagan, whose service in World War Two consisted of churning out propaganda films for the Army stationed in the hellhole Hollywood Theater of Operations).

And that’s what we had with Bush: a seamless melding of TV advertising (consider the “Mission Accomplished” or “Jackson Square” speeches, in which American moments were transformed into cheesy informercials with sets that D.W. Griffith, Cecil B. DeMille or Busby Berkeley could only have imagined in wildest opium dreams), political agit-prop and military ‘home front’ pro-patriotic gobbledygoop that redefined the meaning of the hoary cliché ‘wrapping yourself in the flag,’ and reinvigorated the proverb ‘Patriotism is the last refuge of the scoundrel.’


D.W. Griffith — Intolerance, 1916

Why, then, when the facts have never bothered them in the least before, should the facts matter now? And all that remains is the spin, the Cheshire Cat grin on the face of those now skulking away.

Mission Lily Regilding is already underway.

It’s an endless, Big-Brotherish public-relations/psy-ops campaign that goes back to the moment Tricky Dick said “You won’t have Dick Nixon to kick around anymore.” Watch: Feller will be on the Leno show for his book on “GEORGE W. BUSH – MISUNDERESTIMATED GENIUS” based on exclusive interviews with the ex-occupant of the White House. With writing like that, how could Bush NOT want Feller writing his history?


G.W. Bush — Intolerance, 2005

You have to understand that there will always be a significant portion of the writing community who will happily do ANYTHING for money. I’m most emphatically not saying that Feller is one, of course.

(Although the case can be made that he’s clearly biased in a Faux Nooz sense for several years now. He’s had access to White House insiders since at least 2004, and that in and of itself tells you that they like HIM as much as he seems to like THEM.)

But there are many and talented amoral or even hard-core ideological writers out there who will gladly spin the lie of George W. Bush, Action Figure into a cartoonish caracature of reality, even if they have to bend the laws of physics to do so. And, the GOP has a vested interest in aiding and abetting those comforting lies now-a-borning.

And Rove has already all but announced the face-lift of the uncomfortable reality of Our Worst (p)Resident. (According to a secret memo leaked to me, they’re calling it “Operation Desert Simonize”).

But beware. Those uncomfortable facts that we’re avoiding by pretending that NOW every thing is hunky dory might just morph into uncomfortable fictions — comfortable to those who slaver to return to that power to which they would have liked to have become accustomed.

Golly. The Pentagon gave the Bushes medals and honors.

How creepy — in light of reality — is that?


Or, finally, consider that Bush loudly and proudly suddenly reversed eight years of rapine ecological policy and created national monuments today equivalent in size to an area larger than the state of California. They are all under water in the Pacific and range from almost inaccessible to completely inaccessible (like the Marianas Trench, the deepest ocean canyon on Earth).

This is nearly the precise equivalent of my taking credit because right here and now, I am declaring a moratorium on all diamond mining and exploration on the surface of Jupiter. There hasn’t been any diamond mining done since I declared the moratorium, you will notice.

Grandiloquent and functionally meaningless: There’s a Bush legacy metaphor in that.



cross-posted from his vorpal sword

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About Hart Williams

Mr. Williams grew up in Wyoming, Nebraska, Kansas and New Mexico. He lived in Hollywood, California for many years. He has been published in The Washington Post, The Kansas City Star, The Santa Fe Sun, The Los Angeles Free Press, Oui Magazine, New West, and many, many more. A published novelist and a filmed screenwriter, Mr. Williams eschews the decadence of Hollywood for the simple, wholesome goodness of the plain, honest people of the land. He enjoys Luis Buñuel documentaries immensely.
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3 Responses to Retch Ed

  1. JollyRoger says:

    Two Words: Leonid Brezhnev.

    Brain-dead cowards really are all alike.

  2. Hart Williams says:

    I wish I’d been as eloquent in as few words. Bravo.

  3. John Stone says:

    Custer Used To Be A Hero Too—–Perfect Caption.
    The story of a failed Presidency, Two Stolen Elections, a failed war built on lies,a failed economy and so many more failures
    because of George Bush, Dick Cheney and Karl Rove. I am so glad the nightmare is almost over!