Smile, Wingnuts, Smile

In The Washington Times today — and I feel dirty linking to it, and even dirtier for having been on its website — Newt Gingrich asks the following question: “Where does the conservative movement go from here?” My answer is a simple one: Down the toilet and into oblivion. Newt, however, claims that it “has a simple and almost certainly successful future if it does three things,” one of which, the first one, is this:

Advocate first principles with courage, clarity, persistence and cheerfulness.

Cheerfulness? Yes, because it’s important to distract the baby’s attention with a toothy smile before taking its lollipop.

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The second one has to do with “developing solutions based on those principles,” which, I suppose, is suitably vague.

The third one is that conservatives ought to “[b]e prepared to oppose Republicans when they are wrong and side with Democrats when they are right.” Which is so ridiculous as to be amusing, because conservatives aren’t about to side with Democrats in any meaningful way, so attached are they to the GOP.

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Don’t bother reading Newt’s piece. It’s predictable drivel from one of the right’s leading egomaniacs. (I’m sure he thinks the conservative movement needs him (and preferably at the helm of the GOP) if it wants to rise up from the sewer.) Even Maureen Dowd is more worthwhile today — and I even find myself in partial agreement with her over the Wall Street bailout.

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