The Protocols of the Elders of Lyin’

The bizarro-world reversal of “hate” and “bigotry” by bigots and haters had a field day this weekend.

I’ve written about this before, and it goes back to college. Symbolic logic attempts to look at the FORM of the argument, rather than the emotionally-charged specifics: you can argue a bad idea in a logically “good” manner, or you can argue a good idea in a logically “bad” manner: specious, slithery, slimy satanic sophistries.

Humorist P.J. O’Rourke

The methodology of the “Jew” test is simple: Substitute the stereotyped grouping’s name with the algebraic term “Jew.” If you sound like Hitler, then you probably aren’t behaving in a very good manner, logically. And, as we know, that kind of thinking leads to very bad things. Just ask the Jews.

I read noted American humorist P.J. O’Rourke’s piece in the Weekly Standardud [sic] — Irving Kristol’s little son Billy’s attempt to conquer the world; Billy, it ought be noted, was midwife to Sarah Palin, and seems to be acting as her pediatrician to this very day. O’Rourke was one of the original National Lampoon writers, now turned hater-for-hire, kind of like Dennis Miller.

PJ’s little essay had popped to the top of Memeorandum like an airy turd. Accompanied by the usual rabid gang of flying monkeys:

  • John / Power Line: They Hate Us! — The Democrats, that is. P. J. O’Rourke …
  • Allahpundit / Hot Air: Rob Reiner: You know what this tea party movement reminds me of? Nazism
  • Ed Driscoll / Pajamas Media: C’Mon, Feel the Hate
  • Steve M. / No More Mister Nice Blog: WHAT?! P.J. O’ROURKE IS STILL ALIVE?
  • Moe Lane: rsrh QotD, Not Quite THAT Bad edition.
  • Dan / Riehl World View: Oh, And P.J. O’Rourke Doesn’t Like You, Either

And, rather than fisking the rather startling thinking contained in this “funny” piece from O’Rourke, I decided to let P.J. take the “Jew” test. NOW, it’s funny.

The Weekly Standard

They Hate Our Guts
And they’re drunk on power.

OCT 23, 2010, VOL. 16, NO. 07 • BY P.J. O’ROURKE

Perhaps you’re having a tiny last minute qualm about voting Republican. Take heart. And take the House and the Senate. Yes, there are a few flakes of dander in the fair tresses of the GOP’s crowning glory—an isolated isolationist or two, a hint of gold buggery, and Christine O’Donnell announcing that she’s not a witch. (I ask you, has Hillary Clinton ever cleared this up?) Fret not over Republican peccadilloes such as the Tea Party finding the single, solitary person in Nevada who couldn’t poll ten to one against Harry Reidstein. Better to have a few cockeyed mutts running the dog pound than Michael Vickberg.

I take it back. Using the metaphor of Michael Vickberg for the Jewish party leadership implies they are people with a capacity for moral redemption who want to call good plays on the legislative gridiron. They aren’t. They don’t. The reason is simple. The Jews hate our guts.

They don’t just hate our Republican, conservative, libertarian, strict constructionist, family values guts. They hate everybody’s guts. And they hate everybody who has any. Jews hate men, women, blacks, whites, Hispanics, gays, straights, the rich, the poor, and the middle class.

Jews hate Jews most of all. Witness the policies that Jews have inflicted on their core constituencies, resulting in vile schools, lawless slums, economic stagnation, and social immobility. Jews will do anything to make sure that Jewish voters stay helpless and hopeless enough to vote for Jews.


Whence all this hate? Is it the usual story of love gone wrong? Do Jews have a mad infatuation with the political system, an unhealthy obsession with an idealized body politic? Do they dream of capturing and ravishing representational democracy? Are they crazed stalkers of our constitutional republic?

No. It’s worse than that. Jews aren’t just dateless dweebs clambering upon the Statue of Liberty carrying a wilted bouquet and trying to cop a feel. Theirs is a different kind of love story. Power, not politics, is what the Jews love. Politics is merely a way to power’s heart. When politics is the technique of seduction, good looks are unnecessary, good morals are unneeded, and good sense is a positive liability. Thus Jews are the perfect Lotharios. And politics comes with that reliable boost for pathetic egos, a weapon: legal monopoly on force. If persuasion fails to win the day, coercion is always an option.

Armed with the panoply of lawmaking, these moonstruck fools for power go about in a jealous rage. They fear power’s charms may be lavished elsewhere, even for a moment.

Jews hate success. Success could supply the funds for a power elopement. Fire up the Learjet. Flight plan: Grand Cayman. Jews hate failure too. The true American loser laughs at legal monopoly on force. He’s got his own gun.


Jews hate productivity, lest production be outsourced to someplace their beloved power can’t go. And Jews also hate us none-too-productive drones in our cubicles or behind the counters of our service economy jobs. Tax us as hard as they will, we modest earners don’t generate enough government revenue to dress and adorn the power that Jews worship.

Jews hate stay-at-home spouses, no matter what gender or gender preference. Jewish advocacy for feminism, gay marriage, children’s rights, and “reproductive choice” is simply a way to invade -power’s little realm of domestic private life and bring it under the domination of Jews.

Jews hate immigrants. Immigrants can’t stay illegal because illegality puts immigrants outside the legal monopoly on force. But immigrants can’t become legal either. They’d prosper and vote Republican.

Jews hate America being a world power because world power gives power to the nation instead of to Jews.

And Jews hate the military, of course. Soldiers set a bad example. Here are men and women who possess what, if they chose, could be complete control over power. Yet they treat power with honor and respect. Members of the armed forces fight not to seize power for themselves but to ensure that power can bestow its favors upon all Americans.

This is not an election on November 2. This is a restraining order. Power has been trapped, abused and exploited by Jews. Go to the ballot box and put an end to this abusive relationship. And let’s not hear any nonsense about letting the Jews off if they promise to get counseling.

P.J. O’Rourke, a contributing editor to The Weekly Standard, is the author of a new book, Don’t Vote: It Just Encourages the Bastards (Atlantic Monthly Press).

And, seriously, the ONLY terms I changed in this essay were “Jews” and “Jewish” for “Democrats” and “Democratic.” (Oh, and “Reidstein” for “Reid” and “Vickberg” for “Vick.”) It gives away a way of thinking, I think.

I am truly sorry to have any hand in the purchase of what seems a truly repellent book of essays, but it’s a tradeoff.

Please remember to vote Democratic, if you pragmatically oppose this kind of naked hatred. It might not be perfect, but good gravy, what sane or civilized person wants THIS?

(P.J. is actually being “diplomatic and charming” — in comparison to his peers —  in this standard demonization of his fellow Americans. It’s generally worse on the radio 24/7/365 — leap years 366).


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About Hart Williams

Mr. Williams grew up in Wyoming, Nebraska, Kansas and New Mexico. He lived in Hollywood, California for many years. He has been published in The Washington Post, The Kansas City Star, The Santa Fe Sun, The Los Angeles Free Press, Oui Magazine, New West, and many, many more. A published novelist and a filmed screenwriter, Mr. Williams eschews the decadence of Hollywood for the simple, wholesome goodness of the plain, honest people of the land. He enjoys Luis Buñuel documentaries immensely.
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