Dear Father Christmas …

Dear Father Christmas,

As a mythological being, I yet see your handiwork every year, see your representatives dressed as that Marketing Demigod, Santa Claus, see him on television and in movies, in print and hear him on the radio.

As such, you are the PERFECT person for me to address my plea to.

You see, Father Christmas, what I really want and need for Christmas is something that is even more mythological than you. I think you’ll understand when you read this:

GOP wins light bulb fight



The shutdown-averting budget bill will block federal light bulb efficiency standards, giving a win to House Republicans fighting the so-called ban on incandescent light bulbs.

GOP and Democratic sources tell POLITICO the final omnibus bill includes a rider defunding the Energy Department’s standards for traditional incandescent light bulbs to be 30 percent more energy efficient.

DOE’s light bulb rules — authorized under a 2007 energy law authored signed by President George W. Bush — would start going into effect Jan. 1. The rider will prevent DOE from implementing the rules through Sept. 30….

Or this:

With the Plan B decision, the Obama administration broke its promise

By Susan F. Wood, Published: December 9

I resigned from the FDA in 2005 after serving for five years as assistant commissioner for women’s health. I left because of my frustration that this safe and effective emergency contraceptive pill, Plan B, had been repeatedly blocked from going on sale over the counter. It was clear to me at the time that the recommendations of all the medical and scientific experts, both inside and outside the FDA, were being overruled by ideology, to the detriment of women and limiting their access to medicines…

Or this:

December 14th, 2011 05:29 PM ET

FIRST ON CNN: Obama, Dems drop millionaire surtax to pay for payroll tax cut

Posted by CNN Congressional Correspondent Kate Bolduan

(CNN) – In what would be a major concession, President Obama and Senate Democrats will drop their insistence that a surtax on millionaires pay for extending the payroll tax cut, a Democratic source tells CNN. This would be part of a new Democratic offer.

The move comes after Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid and other top Senate Democrats met with President Obama at the White House earlier today.

And now this:

GOP Threaten to Harm the Economy If Obama Won’t Embrace Tar Sands Pipeline

By Joe Romm on Dec 16, 2011 at 5:16 pm

GOP Threaten to Kill Tax Relief and Unemployment Extension Over Keystone XL Pipeline, Which Won’t Improve Energy Independence or Create Many Permanent Jobs

Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell said today he will not support a payroll tax cut extension if he is not allowed to shoot this dog (or at least the climate the dog lives in) TPM reported today. Apologies to “National Lampoon” and canine aficionados. (original caption)

By Kate Gordon and Daniel J. Weiss in a CAP repost

As Congress attempts to finish its 2011 work, the House leadership continues to push hard to speed up the permitting process for the Keystone XL pipeline. Today Speaker of the House John Boehner (R-OH) threatened to add a Keystone provision to a two-month extension of the payroll tax cut, scheduled to expire on December 31. Boehner told reporters:

These rumors that are floating around here about a two-month extension, I’ll just say this: If that bill comes over to us, we will make changes to it, and I will guarantee you that the Keystone pipeline will be in there when it goes back to the United States Senate.

Ironically the State Department said Monday that such legislation would prevent it from approving the Keystone permit …

So, in short, Father Christmas, what I’d like (and what millions of us would like) is a mythological Vertibrate Democrat.

You don’t have to actually produce an actual, honest-to-gosh Vertibrate Democrat. I’d happily settle for a Mythic Vertibrate Democrat that exists at the same level as you do, Father Christmas: A mythological creature that inspires adults and children, who does good deeds through his innumerable proxies, and who won’t actually eat the milk and cookies we set out in the living room on Christmas Eve.

You know, like Mickey Mouse.

It’s a tall order, I know, Father Christmas, but I have to ask somebody, and you are the only mythological being that I know to ask, ever since the Religious Right claimed Baby Jesus® as a registered trademark.

Merry Christmas.

Your ardent admirer,

Hart Williams

PS: If you DO want to eat the milk and cookies, I won’t mind at all. I’m just sayin’.



A writer, published author, novelist, literary critic and political observer for a quarter of a quarter-century more than a quarter-century, Hart Williams has lived in the American West for his entire life. Having grown up in Wyoming, Kansas and New Mexico, a survivor of Texas and a veteran of Hollywood, Mr. Williams currently lives in Oregon, along with an astonishing amount of pollen. He has a lively blog His Vorpal Sword. This is cross-posted from his blog.



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About Hart Williams

Mr. Williams grew up in Wyoming, Nebraska, Kansas and New Mexico. He lived in Hollywood, California for many years. He has been published in The Washington Post, The Kansas City Star, The Santa Fe Sun, The Los Angeles Free Press, Oui Magazine, New West, and many, many more. A published novelist and a filmed screenwriter, Mr. Williams eschews the decadence of Hollywood for the simple, wholesome goodness of the plain, honest people of the land. He enjoys Luis Buñuel documentaries immensely.
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