Punxatawney Phil saw his shadow in the eponymous Pennsylvania town that feeds the rodent. And Donald Trump has endorsed (wait for it …) NEWT GINGRICH!
Uh, whoops. They reported FUTURE news, and The Donald, being such a model of consistency, changed his notion at the last minute and endorsed Romney.
And so, we finally know what that creature on top of his head is. Turns out, it was a groundhog all along, and, attached to “the Donald,” it couldn’t STAND for any other groundhog to upstage it.
Mystery solved. Case closed. What else?