Boehner’s Giant Gavel

Boehner's Giant Gavel

2011 deja vu: Boehner’s questionable Freudian 
symbolism and self-chosen gavel: sometimes
a cigar ISN’T just a cigar, nor a gavel merely a gavel

The beclowning repeated itself today:

Boehner reelected as Speaker; nine Republicans defect in vote
Pete Kasperowicz / The Hill

Rep. John Boehner (R-Ohio) was reelected Speaker of the House on Thursday after a week of rumors of a possible GOP revolt.  —  Boehner won a bare majority in a vote that saw nine Republicans vote for other GOP members, and several others who abstained from voting or voted “present.” Two years ago, Boehner won all 241 available GOP votes….

Well, isn’t that special? Actually, you have to wonder what Republicans ACTUALLY believe in. Seriously.

You might recall 2011, when, buoyed by “Tea Party” wins, the Republicans t0ok control of the House of Representatives, and John Boehner of Ohio was elected Speaker. Boehner DEMANDED that Nancy Pel0si of California (the outgoing Speaker) modify the traditional “handing over the gavel” ceremony by handing him a somewhat obscenely oversized gavel as the symbol of his New Ascendancy.

boehner pelosi big gavel

Boehner’s legislative weapon of choice, which he ‘hilariously’ forced outgoing
Speaker Nancy Pelosi to play along with. Ben Wa balls were too pricey, John?

Uh yeah. This, from the party that demands “Government should be run like a business.”


Michael Steele served as GOP National Chair during their most successful electoral season in more than a half-century (the 2010 elections) and was unceremoniously dumped for Reince Priebus (50 MPG on the highway), who oversaw a DISASTROUS presidential election. Priebus is expected to be re-elected.


Boehner — with the Giant Gavel, the John Holmes of Legislation, wielding his ENORMOUS … weapon — proved to be the least effective and most incompetent Speaker since the Nineteenth Century, leading a House that all parties admit was an unqualified failure on virtually every level that one could fail AT.

So, what do these “don’t waste the taxpayers’ money” and “government must be run efficiently, like a BUSINESS” types do?

You’re way ahead of me.

Of course, being a small business owner several times over, I can tell you that any employee who screwed the pooch the way Priebus and Boehner did would be filling out résumés even as he Speaker. Boehner’s boner doesn’t seem to actually affect Republican thinking, even though everyone in the GOP caucus who ACTUALLY knows anything about business knows you don’t reward failure and punish success and expect to stay in business very long. That only works in the army.

VILE cover

Having failed miserably once, the GOP
doubles down 0n douchiness, irrationally

No: completely trash-canning their “beliefs” and “core principles” the GOP has re-elected the worst Speaker in living memory, and will soon reelect one of the worst RNC Chairs in decades, both failures at their self-defined tasks, both living symb0ls of a party deeply identified with racism, misogny and general bigotry, out of touch (admittedly) with the “mainstream” and hell-bent-f0r-leather committed to a previously failed course of extreme legislation OUT of touch with the electorally stated will of the People as evidenced by their votes.

If this form of governance were a business, it might be termed the “2012 Twinkie®” model.

Business plan?

Reintroduce, for the 34th time, a pre-doomed and futile House bill to repeal Obamacare.

Write your own punchline.

Even though, orange skin and all, it kind of writes itself.


Boehner won the hearts of the GOP caucus (say GOP
pundits) by repeating Cheney’s infamous sneer at Patrick
Leahy on the Senate floor to Senate leader Harry Reid,
suggesting a physical act of self-violation that Clint
Eastwood has pr0nounced  physically impossible to
enact. Kinda like every other Boehner boner bill.

Déjà vu, deja dumb, deja Boehner.



A writer, published author, novelist, literary critic and political observer for a quarter of a quarter-century more than a quarter-century, Hart Williams has lived in the American West for his entire life. Having grown up in Wyoming, Kansas and New Mexico, an honorary Texan, Clown (ditto) and a veteran of Hollywood, Mr. Williams currently lives in Oregon, along with an astonishing amount of pollen. He has a lively blog His Vorpal Sword. This is cross-posted from his blog


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About Hart Williams

Mr. Williams grew up in Wyoming, Nebraska, Kansas and New Mexico. He lived in Hollywood, California for many years. He has been published in The Washington Post, The Kansas City Star, The Santa Fe Sun, The Los Angeles Free Press, Oui Magazine, New West, and many, many more. A published novelist and a filmed screenwriter, Mr. Williams eschews the decadence of Hollywood for the simple, wholesome goodness of the plain, honest people of the land. He enjoys Luis Buñuel documentaries immensely.
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