Look for the Union Bunny

Bullied, harassed, and lied to, District 1 of the Amalgamated Association of Easter Bunnies, AFB-CIO (American Federation of Bunnies–Cottontails International Organization) went on strike, forcing a halt to this year’s Easter egg hunts. At Bunny Headquarters, Solomon P. Bunny, union executive secretary, and a militant corps of Easter bunnies were preparing picket signs. I walked in, notepad in hand. “Excuse me, Mr. Bunny, but why aren’t your members delivering eggs this week?” Bunny looked up from the papers on his desk, chomped harder on his cigar, looked at me, scowled, and answered harshly, “Don’t you know!?” “No, sir,” I replied apologetically. “I always thought you were happy and content passing out your Easter eggs.” “We love it,” growled Bunny, “but … Continue reading

No Merit Badge for Courage for Boy Scouts

by WALTER BRASCH   Sometime in May, the Boy Scouts of America will decide whether they will allow gays to be members, volunteer leaders, or be employed on the professional staff. The decision may have more to do with funding than with any other policy. Contributions from individuals, major corporations, and at least 50 United Way agencies stopped because of the Scouts’ anti-gay policy. Among corporations that have not made annual six-figure donations are Intel, Merck, CVS, Chase Manhattan Bank, Verizon, Google, UPS, and Levi Straus. Stephen Spielberg, an Eagle Scout, in protest of the policy against gays dropped off the national advisory council. The national council was also losing funds because of a drop of about 22 percent in … Continue reading

The Paul Ryan Magical Mystery Chop, Dice, and Slice Budget

  By Walter Brasch   In 2011, before he was the Republican nominee for vice-president, Rep. Paul Ryan (R-Wisc.) proposed a federal budget. He called it, “The Path to Prosperity: Restoring America’s Promise.” Two years later, now in his second year as chair of the House budget committee, he dusted off and polished his old proposal. He calls this one: “The Path to Prosperity: A Responsible Balanced Budget.” His plan is to cut the federal deficit by $4.6 trillion in four years, reducing the deficit to about $12.1 trillion. While the Republicans blame President Obama and the Democrats for wild tax-and-spend policies that led to the huge deficit, they conveniently overlook the reality that Bill Clinton left George W. Bush … Continue reading

Foster and Tucker’s Dominican Hookers

Because the ONLY fact that emerges after these months of attempted smear and political assassination from that “civility” that Foster Friess is bankrolling is that his money has INTENTIONALLY paid for prostitutes. Lots and lots of prostitutes. Continue reading

Enter The Quick Buck Artiste

I might make the mistake of suggesting that we not use an event of which we have zero personal experience to blow moral exhaust past our cylinders and really blow out those pistons, but that suggestion has never been met with so much as civility, and so I bravely take up my torch to morally judge others. Continue reading

Holding the American People Hostage

by Walter Brasch   Judges who wish to assure that a jury has no outside influence will sequester them. Legally, a sequestered jury is seized by authority and isolated from all outside influences. The jurors are escorted into and out of the courtroom. They aren’t allowed to read newspapers, listen to radio news, or watch TV news, ’lest they could be influenced by the media. They are escorted to and from meals, and isolated from other customers. They can’t discuss the case with family or friends. They can’t even go home at the end of the day; they’re housed in hotel rooms. In the summer of 2011, a bipartisan “super-committee” was supposed to come up with a reasonable budget to … Continue reading