Angry American Surrealists, Part the Infinity

foxy fetuses

The crazy get crazier:

Texas Congressman: Masturbating Fetuses Prove Need for Abortion Ban
Adele M. Stan / RH Reality Check

As the House of Representatives gears up for Tuesday’s debate on HR 1797, a bill that would outlaw virtually all abortions 20 weeks post fertilization, Rep. Michael Burgess (R-TX) argued in favor of banning abortions even earlier in pregnancy because, he said, male fetuses that age were already, shall we say, spanking the monkey.

“Watch a sonogram of a 15-week baby, and they have movements that are purposeful,” said Burgess, a former OB/GYN. “They stroke their face. If they’re a male baby, they may have their hand between their legs. If they feel pleasure, why is it so hard to believe that they could feel pain?”

Ah, fondling fetuses, wanking embwyos, meat-beating man-zygotes. Of course. Why didn’t we think of that?

Er, perhaps because we’re sane?


I don’t have to say a lot here. I spent my years guarding our local abortion clinic from lunatic body-fascists. (See “Deathscort at the Abortuary“)

In the time we’ve been jerking off over imaginary babies (forty years since Roe v. Wade), the population of the world has gone from 3.9 billion to 7.1 billion. And none of the idjits seem to have noticed that “be fruitful and multiply” has changed from an admonition to survive to a curse to overpopulate.


Turning a woman into a brood mare because Republican MEN (and it is almost entirely MEN) have come up with new surrealist rules of biology is not an excuse for anything. It is merely another proof that the GOP is not populated by humans, but by human monsters.

Sorry, Charlie. Real women ALWAYS trump imaginary babies, no matter HOW much peyote you’ve been noshing on.


Cross-posted from his vorpal sword

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About Hart Williams

Mr. Williams grew up in Wyoming, Nebraska, Kansas and New Mexico. He lived in Hollywood, California for many years. He has been published in The Washington Post, The Kansas City Star, The Santa Fe Sun, The Los Angeles Free Press, Oui Magazine, New West, and many, many more. A published novelist and a filmed screenwriter, Mr. Williams eschews the decadence of Hollywood for the simple, wholesome goodness of the plain, honest people of the land. He enjoys Luis Buñuel documentaries immensely.
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