The Sick Voyeur at the Center of This (not Weiner, BTW)

[WARNING: What follows is as disgusting as the story it covers and the author of that story. So, if you are squeamish, or under 18, please stop reading now.]

weiner-banana

Velvet but no longer Underground

The Prudes invade the privacy of others, look for “dirt” on their victim and then America is SHOCKED! SHOCKED! Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

Weiner Is A Sexual Predator Luring His Victims
NikRichie / The Dirty My source is solid.  She really thought Anthony Weiner and her were in love, they spoke on the phone daily multiple times a day for 6 months.  Anthony Weiner played with her emotions and mind.  Most calls were phone sex.

Yeah, yeah. We’re all scandalized that someone MASTURBATES!

casablanca-your-winnings

“Your cum-rag, sir.”

Seriously. When did “cheating” become  the failure to ever only think of one’s wife and only one’s partner to the exclusion of every other thought, AND the Thought Police can hack you and we all gasp that MASTURBATION, MASTURBATION is going on at Ricks!

Welcome to Peeping Tom America.

voyeur

I was talking to a female colleague at work and asked, “Do you ever get a funny feeling inside that someone could be watching you?”

She replied, “No, never.”

“Good.”

And it’s kind of weird and questionable that the fellow who is “breaking” this story is ‘releasing’ a book on July 26th. Amazing timing, ain’t it? And listen to what our “moral arbiter” has to say about this:

Huma Abedin you need to do a better job at sexually pleasing your husband. Story still developing… there is more. Remember this relationship is post the Weiner Scandal.- nik

Sorry, I’m not linking to the page, which is a transcript of a mutual masturbation chat, and something that I don’t WANT to see. If HUSTLER or PLAYBOY wants to print it, fine, but really?

hustler-may-80

If we’re talking about “morality,” then where is the morality of republishing this slime verbatim in a public venue without any warning to kids? Hmmm? Where’s the “morality” there? Oh, wait.  It’s OK to be as sleazy, disreputable and disgusting as you want IF you’re doing it to a public figure, but the SELFSAME moralistic objections don’t apply to YOU?

Guess so.

If we want to judge the story, we should at least know who’s pimping it, right?

George Putnam reads Sex Jungle0

Er … Not exactly George Putnam

Let’s see, who IS this guy? From his Barnes & Noble page (for the book he’s releasing) [emphasis added]:

TheDirty.com, a heavily trafficked online gossip sheet, was created by an entrepreneur by the name of Nik Richie—whose Iranian parents named him Hooman Karamian.

Richie’s appearances on programs like Dr. Phil, Anderson Cooper 360, Nancy Grace, and 20/20 suddenly provided him with notoriety as the Internet’s bad boy, whose site is employed by angry ex-mates (of both sexes) to post sordid and vengeful revelations online.

TheDirty.com also presents opinionated comments from Nik himself about the shape of women’s bodies, as well as a language particular to his site. “Porta-Potties” describes women who prostitute themselves to perverse Saudi royalty. “The Greg” refers to his or anyone else’s penis, and “Scooby” refers to his sidekick friend.

Sex, Lies and The Dirty is Nik’s confession of the backstage realities of his website, and his sordid lifestyle prior to hooking up with his lovely wife Shayne.

Nik Richie is the host of a weekly web-radio show that commands a million listeners each week. And along with his wife Shayne, he will star in the upcoming VH1 reality series, Couples Therapy. The controversy has just begun.

[…]

Meet the Author

Nik Richie, aka Hooman Karamian, aka Corbin Grimes (born in 1979) is a Scottsdale, Arizona resident who owns the website “The Dirty”. He eloped with “The Bachelor” Season 12 winner, Shayne Lamas, daughter of Lorenzo Lamas. Using the name Corbin Grimes, he was the CEO of Capitol Imaging Group.

Another Kim Kardasshian wannabe has found his E Ticket to the celebutard sweepstakes. The Phoenix New Times says this of whatever his name actually is [21 Nov. 2008]:

Nik Richie, aka Hooman Karamian, aka Corbin Grimes

New Times (Phoenix) caption:
Hooman Karamian, the wannabe Perez Hilton…

You know him better as “Nik Richie,” purveyor of ribald pics of drunken nightlifers vomiting and/or exposing themselves for the camera. Karamian’s decidedly retail genius is that through a variety of Web sites spun off from The Dirty.com and tailored to cities nationwide, he allows local losers to be Lindsay Lohan or Paris Hilton for a day.You know, flashing, or acting the fool, just like a real life celebrity, only without the celebrity.

And that’s the catch, because Karamian only scores big when he nabs a celeb doing something naughty, like when he published pics of second string Cardinals QB Matt Leinart helping a lass with her beer bong. Or even the decades-old shots of Billy Idol in his prime being serviced by three nekkid wenches, which Karamian put up not too long ago.

The problem is, ordinary shlubs acting like idiots are still ordinary shlubs, and who cares ’bout them, save for their shlubby friends?

Indeed, women who want to be spotlighted by Karamian’s sites desperately send in shots of themselves half-nude or better, asking Karamian if he would do them. Similarly, dudes might send in shots of their bros passed out or doing something retarded, hoping Karamian will rag on them.

Karamian is the perfect enabler for a society without shame, and I don’t blame him one iota for banking on it. But when he tries to market fake outrage to me, that’s where my bulls**t detector starts blinking red. I mean, if your site features pics of models dropping a deuce, fat girls licking themselves, and cheesy tanning salon refugees flexing their guns, you ain’t one to be talkin’. Rocks, glass houses and all that.

Dick Morris of Fox News

Smells like celebrity journalism

You read it here first.

My sexy neighbour has left her curtains open slightly, so I’m watching her masturbate with my telescope.

I can’t see very well, though. If only I had my telescope.

Naturally, he provides the obligatory “photo” of Weiner’s wiener.

weiner wiener

Their pixellation, not mine.

Because, you know, we’re MORAL, and can’t show the dirty picture or whatever. (And yeah, I’m kind of disgusted that I have to defend Weiner, etc. but it really AIN’T my business. Here’s the “victim” explaining her high moral stance on all of this:

I just want to clarify that although I was 22 and technically an adult, I was obviously immature and I acted irresponsibly. I realize my correspondence with Mr. Anthony Weiner was a huge mistake and I am embarrassed by it. But the facts are the facts, and he’s running for mayor of NYC so I felt I should get my story out there.
I have no reason to lie. I don’t want the attention or I wouldn’t have kept my anonymity. I didn’t get paid for anything. I quite literally have nothing to gain from this.

[…]

And to be totally clear, I did not sleep with him or receive any funds from him. I’ve seen comments stating otherwise and they are all totally false. I think it’s important to reiterate the fact that all of this happened with him after his first scandal, so all of his campaign promises about being a changed man are absolute lies.

Ah. Pure as the driven snow. Love this bull:

although I was 22 and technically an adult, I was obviously immature and I acted irresponsibly …

So her actions are OK and justified and she’s “moral”?? Sounds like the kind of rationalization one gives before stealing heroin from a friend’s apartment.

anthony-comstock

Anthony Comstock, scourge of
pornography and persecutor of
Margaret Sanger. Drove Ida Craddock
to suicide, which you should READ.

But let’s go back to that New Times article a moment:

… Things got really interesting when I asked Karamian if he had ever done business as “Corbin Grimes,” as certain Maricopa County Superior Court Documents state. Grimes was the CEO for a company called Capitol Imaging Group, which promised to score contracts for up-and-coming musical acts. For a fee, of course. Problem is, many of CIG’s former clients are pissed because they say the big record contracts they were promised never materialized.

But when I began to ask Karamian if he’d done business as Corbin Grimes, he laughed, and said, “This is so funny…The saddest part about this is that I’m the biggest supporter of theNew Times.”

Karamian’s flacks, who were still on the line as well, then jumped in and told Karamian to hang up. The flacks were ticked because I hadn’t cleared this line of questioning with them first. I told them that’s not the way journalism works. At least not the way New Timespractices it. The thing I don’t understand is, if Karamian’s got nothing to hide, why won’t he answer questions about his business as “Corbin Grimes” with CIG?

New Times has attempted to talk to Karamian before about this, but he has refused our interview requests. This time, he and his flacks came calling to us. He can hardly be surprised that we took the opportunity to ask him some real questions. After all, that’s what we’re here for.

You might want to read the whole thing. THIS is what we hold up as “moral”? But we condemn … MASTURBATION?

What gives?

Arise, ye moral bastards !

We are a very sad, sick society on the subject of sex. We go insane at the slightest hint of it, and have spent several weeks now pretending that there’s been some sea change because of Weiner doing OK in the New York mayoral polls, Elliot Spitzer ditto and Mark Sanford taking his old congressional seat back.

But that’s bull.

the coveted award

The Award for Celebutard Blogging goes to …

The merest whiff of “sex” (masturbation?) sends us into spiralling frenzies of Comstock Convulsions, desperate to screech at the sexual “failings” of others, mostly because we have no control or understanding of our OWN sexuality. It frightens us. We have done things we are ashamed of, and any time we can PROJECT our extreme revulsion at our own, unstoppable, uncontrollable instinctual urges, we take that opportunity.

LOUDLY. MORALLY. RIDICULOUSLY.

And people’s lives are routinely destroyed over minor sins, like, say, masturbation (I won’t go into what kind of moral prick makes assumptions about couples’ intimate lives. I lived through the Impeachment, and have had quite enough for one lifetime, thankyouverymuch.)

comstock

We haven’t changed since Comstock. Not really.

But, if you’d like to know more about the “journalist” who broke this “story,” look no further than a review of his book (which, conveniently, is being “launched” in Las Vegas on July 26 — odd, given that the review is from April 16) from The OK! magazine:

DSC02024.jpg

Fellow ‘journalist’ James O’Keefe

Richie starts off his tell-all Sex, Lies and The Dirty in his usual unassuming way, dedicating the masterpiece to himself—of course—with the acknowledgement:

“Myself. Without me, none of this would have been possible.”

[…]

Ever considered how many nights sleep Richie has lost over messing people’s lives up? Pretty much none!

Sex, Lies and the Dirty is an eye opening, jaw dropping, cringe inducing roller coaster of a read—pretty much like Richie’s TheDirty.com blog itself — and tells the full story, warts and all, of how Nik dragged himself up to infamy, from being New Jersey back bedroom blogger, Hooman Abedi Karamian to TV personality and Couples Therapy reality star… Nik Richie.

Encouraging a drugged up single mother to jump off the sixth floor balcony of the Hard Rock Hotel— what made Richie pledge never to return to Vegas (a vow that lasted a whopping two weeks)— performing a sex act on a messed up groupie that was still illegal in 14 states up until 2003 —losing his anonymity after beating TheSmokingGun.com to the punch and outing himself for a past DUI—pretending he’s dating Hilary Duff—hitting on Sam Ronson at a club just to annoy Lindsay Lohan—and his divorce from his FIRST wife… who even knew he was married before?

It’s all there—and then some.

Now, at least you know who you’re in bed with. (I’d get checked for STDs ASAP if I were you.)

The “release” is obviously a publicity stunt, intended to milk this for all it’s worth. (Nothing like rising in society by destroying the reputations of others. Good thing Karma ain’t real.)

But there is a moral to this: if you’re going to masturbate, DON’T TELL ANYBODY and NEVER do it over the internet where a self-described “immature” groupie can decide to out you to … whatever his name is this week. You’ll regret it.

Oh, and if you show me the Breitbart-hacked picture of Weiner’s prick in his shorts ONE MORE TIME, I WILL hurt you. I will find you and I will hurt you, you sick bastards.

cucumber (pre pickle)

STOP SHOWING ME THIS STUFF,
you depraved, diseased peepers!

One parting joke:

“Babe!” I called out to my semi-famous wife. “Our neighbor is on the phone.”

“I don’t care,” she sighed.

“And now their daughter is getting ready for a shower,” I said, refocusing my binoculars.

Courage.

NOTA BENE: After much soul-searching (yours, not mine) I’ve decided NOT to shut off comments. But keep it classy. I know that sex scares you, but try to sound vaguely civil.

Cross posted from his blog. 

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About Hart Williams

Mr. Williams grew up in Wyoming, Nebraska, Kansas and New Mexico. He lived in Hollywood, California for many years. He has been published in The Washington Post, The Kansas City Star, The Santa Fe Sun, The Los Angeles Free Press, Oui Magazine, New West, and many, many more. A published novelist and a filmed screenwriter, Mr. Williams eschews the decadence of Hollywood for the simple, wholesome goodness of the plain, honest people of the land. He enjoys Luis Buñuel documentaries immensely.
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4 Responses to The Sick Voyeur at the Center of This (not Weiner, BTW)

  1. Thank you, Pamela.

    It just maddens me that this slime is going to be feted and get all the publicity he so desperately wants. For being a complete slime.

  2. Slime gets noticed, good get ignored. Sex sells, trashy reads sell. It’s all been going on forever as you well know. Wacky world…

  3. True enough. But nowhere does it say that we have to LIKE it, or be silent in the face of it.