MoDo Beclowns Her Clownself

Maureen Dowd has decided that, since Chelsea Clinton was NOT fair game while her parents were in the White House, now, as a private citizen and only as much a public figure as libel laws need, attacking a pregnant woman in the pages of the New York Times (out of sheer PMS, I guess) is kosher.

Isn’t It Rich?
Maureen Dowd / New York Times

WASHINGTON — CHELSEA CLINTON never acted out during the eight years she came of age as America’s first daughter.  —  No ditching of her Secret Service detail.  No fake IDs for underage tippling.  No drug scandal.  No court appearance in tank top and toe ring…

What is Dowd whipping up frenzy and hysteria over, as she famously did in the case of Time Magazine‘s Herpes cover story?*

[* A tale I’ve told elsewhere. Scroll down to the TIME cover.]


With her 1 percenter mother under fire for disingenuously calling herself “dead broke”* when she left the White House, why would Chelsea want to open herself up to criticism that she is gobbling whopping paychecks not commensurate with her skills, experience or role in life?

As the 34-year-old tries to wean some of the cronies from the Clinton Foundation — which is, like the Clintons themselves, well-intended, wasteful and disorganized — Chelsea is making speeches that go into foundation coffers. She is commanding, as The Times’s Amy Chozick reported, up to $75,000 per appearance.**

Chozick wrote: “Ms. Clinton’s speeches focus on causes like eradicating waterborne diseases. (‘I’m obsessed with diarrhea’ is a favorite line.)”

[* The Clintons were, as I’ve noted before, $98-$10 million in the hole from legal bills rung up starting, ironically, the day that the mighty New York Times gave credence to the rumors about an Arkansas land deal that were officially noted eight years later to have no substance.  Not only a BAD memory, but an awfully CONVENIENT one, too, MoDo.]

[** for comparison and to educate Ms. Dowd, although she is well aware of this, here are a number of celebrities in the $50,001 and up speaking fee schedule. ]


Pew Research 1997. Benghazi, anyone?

Dear GHOD, the hatred of the plutocracy (because, obviously, as a well-heeled Manhattanite Times Columnist, Dowd knows all about how gauche and horrible the nouveau riche are) sure bounces back onto those who have finally managed to prosper after Manhattan Times Columnists aided and abetted their public humiliation for eight years and more.

Dowd Strikes Agin!

Dowd relaxing at home.

Hilary Clinton is now a “1 percenter” [sic] and, therefore, crapping on her pregnant daughter — or weren’t y0u paying attention, Dowd? — makes you a heroine of the proletariat, Ms. Dowd?

Or did the shipment from Colorado contain something other than Midol®?

But the Times has a columnist problem. The problem is that “New York Times columnist” is one of the very few legitimately powerful positions in the field of “writing down your thoughts on politics,” in terms of audience and influence, and for years now the Times has decided that Maureen Dowd calling every female politician in the nation a bitch is a good use of that platform.  (Salon, ‘Hack List #10’)

Worse, since WHEN do New York journalists criticize performers for pulling down what the market will bear in the entertainment field? After all, the speaker’s circuit — which Dowd PERFORMS on at a hefty fee — is well known for paying large sums for speakers.

Er, LIKE Dowd! (Perhaps she’s just jealous that Chelsea is making more than she’s making.)

book maureen dowd!

Click to book

Journalists have a duty to remember that the multiplying power of the press makes their words much more potent than mere drunken cattiness mumbled to a bartender somewhere in Midtown. They have the power to destroy people and their lives, and this frivolous People Magazine style petulance is unworthy of a Times columnist, let alone someone who actually HAS a beef with the “1 percenter” [sic]s, per se.


To take the vast wealth inequality in this country and turn it into a cheap megaphone for attacking Chelsea Clinton for accepting what the market will bear in the speaker’s bureau market is an act of personal megalomania worthy of homeless street lunatic who believes that the CIA is following her all the time because of what she’s got in this paper bag. (And NO, you can’t see it, or they’ll kill you too!)


To put it in perspective, this is the same crap you see in environmental circles aimed at any politician  who is not “green” enough for their tastes on any topic. And to them, AND MoDo, I offer this advice:

If you’d stop the self-righteous shitting on those who are on your side, you’d probably succeed better.

Because I don’t think Maureen Dowd is further politically from Chelsea Clinton than she is from Sean Hannity. But hey: Ego Über Alles.

la timester

In fact, had that advice been heeded by the nascent environmental movement back in 1970, the present crisis might well have been averted.

Things are bad. Pretending to be an ostrich doesn’t make them any better.


Like colon cancer, ignoring it won’t make it go away, and if you have seen the apocalyptic weather forecast this very night, making that argument probably certifies you as a committable lunatic, an active menace to society. A là:

It’s like arguing with the neo-confederate “Lost Cause” crowd about “The War of Northern Aggression.” Actually, in many cases it IS the same crowd.

Yes. Yes. I know. Take a look here for the original.

Get a brain morans meme

You, too, Dowd!

Methane is pouring out of the melting permafrost up North at almost unbelievable rates. But the dominoes, once, fallen cannot be stopped. We have to stop the domino six steps up the line. Ain’t it great how we create the challenges for our own evolution as a species?

Have trash: throw it in the corner of the cave. When the stink gets too bad or the cave is too full, move on to another cave.

dead fish

When we run out of caves, we start to build houses and toss our garbage elsewhere. Eventually we realize we should all, collectively, transport it to centralized heaps.

When we burn up all the firewood in Europe, we have to turn to coal and peat, which burns hotter, and sparks the Industrial Revolution with a forging revolution. The Industrial Revolution depends on coal. (We still depend on it today).

And now we’re here. Looks like we’re going to have to evolve. Sorry, Creationists.


But, as stated crudely above, the anger at environmental degradation has been spent mostly in pissing off everyone around the movement. Ranchers and Farmers and Foresters — who love the land as fiercely as any Tofu-eating bicyclist — were the FIRST people the early environmental movement pissed off. This is the result.

Let’s try it another way, shall we?

jellyfish and mushroom cloud

And Maureen Dowd? Either find something worthwhile to write about or STFU.

Behave responsibly. Behave like an adult.

Don’t you love farce?
My fault I fear.
I thought that you’d want what I want.
Sorry, my dear.
But where are the clowns?
Quick, send in the clowns.
Don’t bother, they’re here.

Isn’t it rich?
Isn’t it queer,
Losing my timing this late
In my career? …

“Send  In The Clowns” ~ Stephen Sondheim


Or let her speak for free. After all, she is in effect going to candidate school. No need to get paid for it, too.

Sure easy to tell someone ELSE to work for free, ain’t it MoDo?


Mr. Williams has a lively blog His Vorpal Sword. This is cross-posted from his blog.


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About Hart Williams

Mr. Williams grew up in Wyoming, Nebraska, Kansas and New Mexico. He lived in Hollywood, California for many years. He has been published in The Washington Post, The Kansas City Star, The Santa Fe Sun, The Los Angeles Free Press, Oui Magazine, New West, and many, many more. A published novelist and a filmed screenwriter, Mr. Williams eschews the decadence of Hollywood for the simple, wholesome goodness of the plain, honest people of the land. He enjoys Luis Buñuel documentaries immensely.
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